The gift I gave myself at 43

For women who’ve spent a lifetime waiting to feel seen

On Monday I turned 43.

And to be honest, I was feeling sad. My relationship with my mom has always been hard, and this recent eclipse portal brought it to a tipping point.

My whole life, I’ve longed to be seen and known by her, and the truth is, that she doesn’t have the capacity to do that for me.

In the last week, I finally let go of trying. And I’ve been processing a lot of grief around that.

But I’m also developing the new ability to give myself what I’ve always wanted from her. It only took me 43 years 🤦‍♀️

So I wrote myself a note … and in the note, I gave myself the gift of being seen …

… of acknowledging what I’ve been through and how I’ve shown up for myself and others through a very difficult few years.

Dear Jessie May, I see you.

I see how you’ve shown up for yourself and your marriage through the darkest season of your life.

I see how you’ve sat with your shadows and worked hard to untangle patterns of second guessing yourself and rescuing other people.

I see how you’ve shown up for your friendships with curiosity and reflections that make people feel seen and loved.

And I see how you’ve built an entirely new circle of deep soul connections in the past 4 years - not an easy thing to do in your 40s!

I see how committed you are to managing your health challenges and how tiring it can be to live with chronic conditions that have no cure.

I see your fire, your inspiration … how you jump out of bed every morning excited to create something that makes a difference.

I see your eye for detail and how gifted you are at creating beautiful spaces and experiences.

I see how generous you are and how much you care, and I also see how you’ve learned to say no, stop abandoning yourself and create boundaries that protect your peace.

I see your love for adventure and new experiences.

I see how you’ve bravely let go of identities that have run their course so you can step into your soul’s next calling.

I see how much you love living your life and how good you are at optimizing your health, relationships and environment … always wanting to make things better. I see what a gift that is, and also, it’s ok to just let things be imperfect sometimes 😉.

I see you and I love you.

XO, Me

Writing this made me realize that I might not be the only one who needs this.

So if you can relate, I want to invite you to do the same.

Here’s a little journaling prompt to help you get started.

Dear [], I see you.

Then let yourself really look.

What have you made it through?

How have you shown up for yourself when no one else knew how hard it was?

What have you changed, healed, released or finally said no to?

What are you proud of that you rarely give yourself credit for?

What do you see in yourself now that you wish someone else had seen a long time ago?

Who are you becoming after everything you’ve been through?

You don’t have to wait to feel seen by whoever it is you’ve been longing to feel seen by.

I know these wounds can run deep, but we’re in our 30s, 40s or 50s now. It’s time to start giving ourselves the recognition we’ve spent so many years waiting to receive from someone else.

But that doesn’t mean we have to do it all on our own. Sometimes, being deeply seen by another person can help us see ourselves more clearly, too.

I’m pretty damn good at deeply seeing other people. I think it was a natural result of not feeling seen myself.

It’s also a big part of the work I do in my 1:1 Perimenopause Initiation coaching.

If you’re longing for a space where you can feel deeply seen and supported through all that’s unraveling and awakening in you during these perimenopause years, I’d love to work with you.

Sending you big hugs and so much love,
Jessie May

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Invitation:

What’s one thing about yourself you want to honor today?

Share it with us in the comments and let us honor you too!

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Hey , I’m Jessie May!

At 39, perimenopause turned my life upside down and eventually became an awakening I never saw coming. Now I guide women through the whole arc of this initiation, from sitting in the void of not knowing what’s next, to finding our voices as we emerge into who we’re becoming.

I love creating spaces where we can talk about what this time feels like with people who understand. Thanks for being here, I can’t wait to get to know you!

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A space for women unraveling and recreating their lives during the perimenopause years. Pivots, purpose, identity, patterns and turning our experiences into meaningful work … those are just some of the things we explore together here.

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