This resonates so much. It's hard to unlearn these ingrained people-pleasing behaviors. I always tell people that just because someone knocks on your door, doesn't mean you have to open it. I'll take the guilt over the resentment. Also, the retreat sounds incredible!!
This is one of these themes that returns over and over in my life, as though I am climbing a spiral, each time seeing it from higher elevation. It has reared its head since I have decided to put my writing out there.
In doing something so unapologetically for myself--in saying "no" to hiding my writing away for fear of being vulnerable and taking up space--I suddenly see how many small, misattuned "yeses" I give throughout the day. It has shone a light.
Rachael, I like how you describe this as climbing a spiral. That visual really resonates because it’s true for me too, this is a theme I revisit again and again and each time from a new perspective. I love that you’re saying “no” to hiding your writing and stepping into taking up space and being vulnerable! Cheering you on!
What a beautiful reflection and perspective. I vibe with that lack of belief in the "goddess" energy we're giving, and how you might have once used that verbiage but felt so far from it...This transition, from mother to crone feels somehow "ugly"...In my mind I'm picturing the crone as the "old Hag" in snow white...the transmutation to the wise woman that the crone truly is feels so foreign because we're encouraged (all women) to stay in the "maiden" version, age backwards, if you will. I feel you. All of this to say I feel you. Even though I KNOW my knowledge, and own it now, even though I feel the depth of my wisdom having anchored more deeply into the Earth, there's still some unshakeable vibe that this phase is something to shy away from...I know this wasn't the truest point of your share, but I just wanted to say I see you. ❤️
Hi Kathleen, thanks so much for sharing about the part that resonated with you! What you shared about the transition from mother to crone being “ugly” resonates a lot. It’s like things have to fall apart and the identity we built has to fall away to make space for the emergence of wisdom and in that falling away we can go through a period of feeling really lost and unsure of ourselves.
Totally agree. And the "falling away" is really terrifying. Women have the deepest evolutions in this lifetime, and even though we know we're headed for a beautifully wise time in our lives, the change in our bodies, our brains and our looks is really hard, if we're being honest.
It is really hard. I’m always mindful of trying to communicate both because I talk a lot about how this is a time that can wake us up and bring us home to ourselves and how great that can be, but I also went through a REALLY dark time to get here. I don’t want anyone to think I’m making light of it, but I also do want to shine some light at the end of the tunnel to help others not lose hope who are going through it.
I was just reading another newsletter about giving up the “good girl” agreeable persona and I was nodding my head the whole time. How timely! No more Mrs nice girl
This happened to pop into my email as I am sitting at a cafe, giving myself the gift of "catching up" in a slow intentional way. It took 30 minutes to find a breakfast place that could meet my needs and I'm enjoying every second of it. Especially knowing I didn't settle.
My body felt your yes. And the running away once you said it. And the graceful return to a gracious recipient. This IS your Queen in action. Congratulations! The somatic processing of the reclamation of self is ever present for me these days, I really appreciate you sharing yours.
This week it looked like returning to Pilates after more than a decade away. In times past, I was "the queen" who trained hundreds of teachers. Now I'm a student in a foreign country learning to trust my body again. The disconnection from listening to others over myself continues to take a lot of thoughtful work, but I can feel the rewards every day. I appreciate you, Jessie May!
Jill, I love imagining you enjoying a spacious breakfast at a cute little cafe, giving yourself the gift of catching up! And I appreciate your words, "somatic processing of the reclamation of self" - that really is a beautiful way to describe how these experiences that flow through our bodies and, if we listen, bring us home to ourselves.
Wow, I'm celebrating you as you step back into Pilates this week! What inspired you to return after spending so many years away? What was it like to be a student again in a place where, I imagine, no one knows about your past experience training hundreds of teachers?
This resonates so much. It's hard to unlearn these ingrained people-pleasing behaviors. I always tell people that just because someone knocks on your door, doesn't mean you have to open it. I'll take the guilt over the resentment. Also, the retreat sounds incredible!!
That’s a great way to put it - “just because someone knocks on your door, doesn’t mean you have to open it”. I’m going to remember that one, thanks!
This is one of these themes that returns over and over in my life, as though I am climbing a spiral, each time seeing it from higher elevation. It has reared its head since I have decided to put my writing out there.
In doing something so unapologetically for myself--in saying "no" to hiding my writing away for fear of being vulnerable and taking up space--I suddenly see how many small, misattuned "yeses" I give throughout the day. It has shone a light.
Rachael, I like how you describe this as climbing a spiral. That visual really resonates because it’s true for me too, this is a theme I revisit again and again and each time from a new perspective. I love that you’re saying “no” to hiding your writing and stepping into taking up space and being vulnerable! Cheering you on!
Thank you! Likewise!
What a beautiful reflection and perspective. I vibe with that lack of belief in the "goddess" energy we're giving, and how you might have once used that verbiage but felt so far from it...This transition, from mother to crone feels somehow "ugly"...In my mind I'm picturing the crone as the "old Hag" in snow white...the transmutation to the wise woman that the crone truly is feels so foreign because we're encouraged (all women) to stay in the "maiden" version, age backwards, if you will. I feel you. All of this to say I feel you. Even though I KNOW my knowledge, and own it now, even though I feel the depth of my wisdom having anchored more deeply into the Earth, there's still some unshakeable vibe that this phase is something to shy away from...I know this wasn't the truest point of your share, but I just wanted to say I see you. ❤️
Hi Kathleen, thanks so much for sharing about the part that resonated with you! What you shared about the transition from mother to crone being “ugly” resonates a lot. It’s like things have to fall apart and the identity we built has to fall away to make space for the emergence of wisdom and in that falling away we can go through a period of feeling really lost and unsure of ourselves.
Totally agree. And the "falling away" is really terrifying. Women have the deepest evolutions in this lifetime, and even though we know we're headed for a beautifully wise time in our lives, the change in our bodies, our brains and our looks is really hard, if we're being honest.
It is really hard. I’m always mindful of trying to communicate both because I talk a lot about how this is a time that can wake us up and bring us home to ourselves and how great that can be, but I also went through a REALLY dark time to get here. I don’t want anyone to think I’m making light of it, but I also do want to shine some light at the end of the tunnel to help others not lose hope who are going through it.
What a powerful moment. I'm inspired!
Thanks Lori! Nice to hear that you’re feeling inspired!
I was just reading another newsletter about giving up the “good girl” agreeable persona and I was nodding my head the whole time. How timely! No more Mrs nice girl
How interesting that both of these messages crossed your path today! Did it feel like a message you needed to hear?
Definitely. I love this stage of life ;)
This happened to pop into my email as I am sitting at a cafe, giving myself the gift of "catching up" in a slow intentional way. It took 30 minutes to find a breakfast place that could meet my needs and I'm enjoying every second of it. Especially knowing I didn't settle.
My body felt your yes. And the running away once you said it. And the graceful return to a gracious recipient. This IS your Queen in action. Congratulations! The somatic processing of the reclamation of self is ever present for me these days, I really appreciate you sharing yours.
This week it looked like returning to Pilates after more than a decade away. In times past, I was "the queen" who trained hundreds of teachers. Now I'm a student in a foreign country learning to trust my body again. The disconnection from listening to others over myself continues to take a lot of thoughtful work, but I can feel the rewards every day. I appreciate you, Jessie May!
Jill, I love imagining you enjoying a spacious breakfast at a cute little cafe, giving yourself the gift of catching up! And I appreciate your words, "somatic processing of the reclamation of self" - that really is a beautiful way to describe how these experiences that flow through our bodies and, if we listen, bring us home to ourselves.
Wow, I'm celebrating you as you step back into Pilates this week! What inspired you to return after spending so many years away? What was it like to be a student again in a place where, I imagine, no one knows about your past experience training hundreds of teachers?