Love this so much and can relate. I’ve started writing based upon the foundation of the stories we tell ourselves and how they shape our lives, until they don’t.
When you spoke of being 'found out', I felt that in my bones. I'm making a practice of leaning into vulnerability, and in doing so, each time it's a little bit easier. Fear is still present, sweaty palms, and a gnawing in my stomach. But I'm choosing not to read those as signs to constrict, but as opportunities to expand. Laid bare, I won't be for everyone, and that's ok. More than ok. It just means that ultimately I'll be surrounded by my authentic people.✨
Jessie, the line that stayed with me was, “I completely fell apart and was loved even more.” So much of this essay circles around the fear that being fully seen will cost us connection, only to discover that authentic connection often begins where performance ends. I also appreciate the grace you extend to your younger self; rather than judging her for the strategies she developed, you recognize that she was carrying far more than she understood and still found ways to show up with courage and vulnerability. Thank you for offering such an honest reflection on how healing does not erase old stories so much as loosen their authority over how we choose to live.
Your point about vulnerability really resonates with me. I once knew someone who always tried to seem perfect in every word and action. One day, she opened up about struggling with an exam. I remember being surprised by how much closer and more real she felt in that moment. It made me realize that showing vulnerability and imperfections often creates a deeper connection than perfection can. People are drawn to truth, not flawless performances.
I remember when I was young, I had an English teacher who gave me shit for my creative writing assignment. Apparently, it was too long. The thing is, I had really gotten into it, and I wrote a story I was really proud of. I carried that story of being a 'bad' creative writer for a very very long time.
Love this so much and can relate. I’ve started writing based upon the foundation of the stories we tell ourselves and how they shape our lives, until they don’t.
What a great inspiration for writing, I know it has been for me! I look forward to reading some of your work.
When you spoke of being 'found out', I felt that in my bones. I'm making a practice of leaning into vulnerability, and in doing so, each time it's a little bit easier. Fear is still present, sweaty palms, and a gnawing in my stomach. But I'm choosing not to read those as signs to constrict, but as opportunities to expand. Laid bare, I won't be for everyone, and that's ok. More than ok. It just means that ultimately I'll be surrounded by my authentic people.✨
It sounds like we are learning similar lessons. Thanks so much for sharing Laura!
Jessie, the line that stayed with me was, “I completely fell apart and was loved even more.” So much of this essay circles around the fear that being fully seen will cost us connection, only to discover that authentic connection often begins where performance ends. I also appreciate the grace you extend to your younger self; rather than judging her for the strategies she developed, you recognize that she was carrying far more than she understood and still found ways to show up with courage and vulnerability. Thank you for offering such an honest reflection on how healing does not erase old stories so much as loosen their authority over how we choose to live.
Thank you! Authentic connection begins where performance ends - I really love that way of describing it!
This is lovely. Keep moving forward.
Your point about vulnerability really resonates with me. I once knew someone who always tried to seem perfect in every word and action. One day, she opened up about struggling with an exam. I remember being surprised by how much closer and more real she felt in that moment. It made me realize that showing vulnerability and imperfections often creates a deeper connection than perfection can. People are drawn to truth, not flawless performances.
What a great example Rabab. It’s so true that showing our vulnerabilities and imperfections can create deeper connection than perfection ever can.
I remember when I was young, I had an English teacher who gave me shit for my creative writing assignment. Apparently, it was too long. The thing is, I had really gotten into it, and I wrote a story I was really proud of. I carried that story of being a 'bad' creative writer for a very very long time.
Jody, thanks for sharing. It's wonderful that you can see where that story came from and that you found your way back to writing again!